The Uncommon Commoner | Ep. 240

Do you know the difference between a fact and an opinion?

A fact is a statement that is real or true. An opinion is something someone thinks or believes.

In today’s story, one of our characters is convinced that his opinion – his belief – is a fact. And you’ll never believe what happens as a result!

Our story is called “The Uncommon Commoner.” You’ll find versions of this story from many places, including the Middle Eastern countries of Israel and Yemen, the Central European countries of Hungary and Poland, plus two countries that straddle Asia and Europe: Turkey and Russia.

We recorded this episode before a live audience of enthusiastic kids and grown-ups at The Cowell Theater in San Francisco, CA. On stage was a talented trio of actors: Feodor Chin, Nathaniel Eaton and Jessica Rau.

This episode was adapted for Circle Round by Rebecca Sheir. It was edited by Sofie Kodner. Original music and sound design is by Eric Shimelonis (who played a harpsichord provided by San Francisco’s Spencer Reynolds in this episode). Our artist is Sabina Hahn.

GROWN-UPS! PRINT THIS so everyone can color while listening. We’re also keeping an album so please share your picture on Facebook and Instagram, and tag it with #CircleRoundPodcast. To access all the coloring pages for past episodes click HERE. Our resident artist is Sabina Hahn and you can learn more about her HERE.

Now It’s Your Turn

Do you have a favorite riddle? One you heard or read somewhere, or perhaps you made up yourself?

If so, we invite you to send it our way!

Ask a grown-up to help you write your riddle down, then email it to us at circleround@wbur.org. We may feature it in a future edition of “The Lion’s Roar,” the monthly newsletter for members of the Circle Round Club! You can learn more about this super-fun membership opportunity for super-fans like you here.

Musical Spotlight: Harpsichord

The harpsichord has keys like a piano, but a much simpler design dating back to the middle ages. Each harpsichord key activates a small piece of material known as a “plectrum,” which plucks a metal string to make sound. But since you can’t control how loud or soft that sound is, when the more dynamic piano came along around 1700, the more modern instrument all but replaced the harpsichord.

Still, the sharp yet mellow sound of the harpsichord defines the sound of the Baroque era, and is played by many modern musicians – including composer Eric Shimelonis! You’ve heard Eric play the harpsichord in many other Circle Round stories, including “The Princess and the Bee,” “The Missing Knight” and “The Princess and the Egg.”

Story Transcript:

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a new queen came to power. The new queen had a kind heart, an honest soul, and a quick mind keen on solving problems and unraveling riddles.

When the new queen took over, she inherited more than just the throne. She inherited a golden crown glistening with gemstones. She inherited a busy schedule, packed with balls and banquets. She also inherited a chief adviser: a fellow by the name of Vidor, who had been working in the palace for years and years.

VIDOR: Welcome to the palace, Your Majesty! Tell me. What is the first thing you would like to do as the new queen? Get fitted for a lovely gown, perhaps? Choose the menu for your first banquet? Order flowers for the palace garden?

QUEEN: Actually, Vidor… I was hoping I could get to know my people. 

VIDOR: Come again?

QUEEN: Get to know my people! My royal subjects! I am determined to be the best leader the people of this land have ever seen. Therefore, I would like to take a carriage ride across the kingdom so I can meet them! (beat) What do you think?

VIDOR: (disgusted) What do I think….?

NARRATOR: From the look on Vidor’s face, you’d think he just caught a whiff of rotting garbage.

VIDOR: Your Majesty. With all due respect. I am your chief adviser! I will help you be “the best leader the people have ever seen”! There’s no need to waste your precious time gallivanting about the kingdom and conversing with… (disdainful) commoners!

QUEEN: “Commoners”...?

NARRATOR: The queen furrowed her brow.

QUEEN: I’ve never liked that word, “commoners.” (beat) Calling someone a “commoner” implies that they’re “common.” Ordinary. Run-of-the-mill. But if you actually met one of these so-called “commoners,” Vidor… I bet you’d see they’re not so “common” at all! (beat) So grab your coat and meet me in the carriage. We leave at once!

NARRATOR: The warm summer sun sparkled in a cloudless blue sky as the queen stepped into the royal carriage – with Vidor following grudgingly behind.

VIDOR: (GROAN)

NARRATOR: The carriage took off, and they soon reached the wide, rolling countryside. The hills and plains seemed to stretch on forever, and the queen and Vidor traveled for miles without spying a single living soul.

Then, at last, the queen pointed a bejeweled finger out the carriage window.

QUEEN: Look! Over there! A tiny thatched-roof hut! With one of my royal subjects sitting outside! Let’s ride over and say hello!

NARRATOR: Vidor clenched his jaw. This was the moment he’d been dreading: their first encounter with a “common commoner”! But he gritted his teeth and kept his mouth shut as the carriage approached the hut.

The royal subject the queen had spotted was an old man. A very old man, with a weathered face as wrinkled as parchment, and scraggly hair as white as chalk. He was swaying back and forth in a creaky rocking chair, with a rough wooden cane in his lap.

QUEEN: (calling out from carriage) Hello, sir! Helloooo!

NARRATOR: At the sound of the queen’s voice, the old man clasped his gnarled fingers around the handle of his cane, staggered to his unsteady feet, and bowed.

OLD MAN: Hello, Your Majesty! It’s a pleasure seeing YOU out here in the country!

QUEEN: Likewise, my dear fellow! How ARE you?

OLD MAN: Much better on the inside than I look on the outside! (little laugh) And YOU?

QUEEN: (smiling) I can’t complain! (playful, jokingly) Though sometimes I still do.

OLD MAN: (enjoying the repartee) I can't complain either. After all, I live in the middle of nowhere! There’s nobody around to listen!

QUEEN: / OLD MAN: (hearty laugh)

NARRATOR: As the queen and the old man shared a hearty chuckle, Vidor heaved a great sigh.

VIDOR: (big annoyed sigh)

NARRATOR: He was hoping the conversation would end then and there. But his hopes were dashed when the queen hopped out of the carriage and shook the old man’s hand.

QUEEN: My good sir! It is clear you enjoy a good turn of wits – as do I. So I wonder if you could please tell me… (carefully) How long has the snow been on the mountain?

NARRATOR: Vidor blinked his eyes. “Snow on the mountain”? It was summertime! What was the queen talking about?

The old man, however, didn’t seem perplexed in the least.

OLD MAN: That’s a mighty fine question, Your Majesty! The snow has been on the mountain for as long as I can remember! Though at my age, I don’t remember much…

QUEEN: And are you getting along now with two or three?

OLD MAN: On a good day, two. Most others, three.

QUEEN: And how far is far?

OLD MAN: Dear me, it’s definitely not as far as it used to be! Not by a long shot!

QUEEN: / OLD MAN: (hearty laugh)

NARRATOR: As the queen and the old man shared another laugh, Vidor felt terribly left out – and terribly put out.

VIDOR: (annoyed, impatient) Your Majesty! I’m sorry to break up this party, but if you truly wish to ride across the entire kingdom, I’d advise that you wrap up your little chit-chat with this… commoner.

NARRATOR: The disdain in Vidor’s eyes chilled the queen to the bone – and enraged her to the core. She took a breath, then laid a hand on her new friend’s bony shoulder.

QUEEN: Dear fellow. As you can see, my chief adviser is impatient for us to move on. But before I take my leave, if I may pose just one more question... (very carefully/mysteriously) Were I to send you a rooster… would you be able to pluck it?

NARRATOR: The old man’s wrinkled face crinkled into a grin.

OLD MAN: You know what, Your Highness? I would most certainly be able to pluck a rooster! Feel free to send it my way any time!

QUEEN: I shall! (mysterious) And I daresay it will be soon. (beat) Farewell, my friend.

NARRATOR: As the carriage pulled away, the queen was bubbling with pleasure.

QUEEN: Well, Vidor? That fellow was definitely an uncommon commoner, if ever there was one! Don’t you agree?

VIDOR: An “uncommon commoner”????

NARRATOR: Vidor sniffed.

VIDOR: More like a “half-witted commoner”! That batty old white-hair was spouting nonsense!

QUEEN: If that’s what you truly believe, Vidor… then our conversation must have been beyond you! It’s obvious you didn’t understand a word.

NARRATOR: The truth is, the queen was right. But the proud, arrogant adviser wasn’t about to admit his ignorance.

VIDOR: Oh come now, Your Excellency! Do you hold such a low opinion of me? Do you believe I wouldn’t understand a simple exchange of words with a peasant? If my mind is so feeble, then why am I your chief adviser?

NARRATOR: The queen’s answer was quick and cold.

QUEEN: (cold) You are my chief adviser, Vidor… because I have found no one to replace you! (beat) YET. (beat) But since you believe yourself superior to the old man – in fact, since you believe yourself superior to ALL my royal subjects – then please. Explain everything you heard just now.

NARRATOR: Vidor’s face dropped. He tried forcing it into a smile.

VIDOR: Uhhh, you know, Your Highness…? I might as well come clean. The truth is, I was rather distracted during your little talk! As your chief adviser, I am such a busy, important man, and my mind is constantly obsessing about work work work! (beat) But, if I had time to think it over, I could easily explain the meaning of your conversation.

QUEEN: Good. You have one week.

VIDOR: One week?! 

QUEEN: Yes! Today is Sunday. So next Sunday, by nightfall, you must come to me with an explanation.

NARRATOR: Vidor’s stomach clenched.

VIDOR: And what if, for some totally crazy reason, I am unable to give you an explanation by next Sunday? What might happen then?

QUEEN: Oh, that’s easy! I shall relieve you of your position as chief adviser and find someone new. Someone who’s far more suited to the job. (beat) (dramatic) And then we’ll see who the “common” one truly is!

[live theme music in]

NARRATOR: What do you think will happen next?

And can YOU think what the exchange between the old man and the queen might have meant?

All will be revealed… after a quick break.

[live theme music out]

[BREAK]

[live theme music in]

NARRATOR: I’m Rebecca Sheir. Welcome back to Circle Round, live at The Cowell Theater in San Francisco, California. Today our story is called “The Uncommon Commoner.”

[live theme music out]

NARRATOR: Before the break, on a warm and sunny Sunday morning, the queen had a rather unconventional exchange with a white-haired old man in the countryside.

First the queen asked the aged fellow:

QUEEN: How long has the snow been on the mountain?

OLD MAN: The snow has been on the mountain for as long as I can remember!

NARRATOR: Then she inquired:

QUEEN: Are you getting along now with two or three?

OLD MAN: On a good day, two. Most others, three.

NARRATOR: After that, she wanted to know:

QUEEN: How far is far?

OLD MAN: Dear me, it’s definitely not as far as it used to be!

NARRATOR: And as for her last question…

QUEEN: Were I to send you a rooster… would you be able to pluck it?

OLD MAN: I would most certainly be able to pluck a rooster! Feel free to send it my way any time!

NARRATOR: The queen’s chief adviser was a haughty fellow by the name of Vidor. Vidor had witnessed the entire exchange, and didn’t understand a word.

The queen resented Vidor’s snobbishness, and was eager to oust him from his post. So she ordered the snooty adviser to explain the conversation by next Sunday… or lose his job.

The proud, stubborn fellow was determined to find a solution. He pondered all day Monday…

VIDOR: Snow on the mountain…?!???

NARRATOR: …he pondered all day Tuesday…

VIDOR: Getting along with two or three…!???

NARRATOR: …he pondered all day Wednesday…

VIDOR: How far is far…?!??

NARRATOR: …and he pondered all day Thursday, Friday, and Saturday!

VIDOR: Plucking a rooster? Why on earth would you want to pluck a rooster???

NARRATOR: By Sunday morning, Vidor was still pondering… and panicking! With his deadline breathing down his neck… and his illustrious job on the line… he knew there was only one thing he could do.

VIDOR: Much as it pains me, I must visit the old man. I’ll go back to that batty geezer and he’ll explain everything.

NARRATOR: Vidor grabbed a notebook, saddled up a horse, and galloped across the countryside to the old man’s hut.

OLD MAN: Well, look who it is! The queen’s chief adviser! … The big cheese! …The head honcho! …The top dog! …The high muckety-muck! The – (gets interrupted before he can go on)

VIDOR: (brusquely interrupts) Right! Right. That’s me. The queen’s chief adviser. And as the queen’s chief adviser, I order you to explain something. (beat) Do you recall the conversation you had with the queen last week?

OLD MAN: As clearly as if it were yesterday! Which is saying a lot, given my memory these days. So many things slip my mind, you’d think there’s a banana peel in my brain! (little laugh)

NARRATOR: Vidor rolled his eyes.

VIDOR: Look, sir. If you remember your conversation with the queen, then I need you to tell me: what was going on with all those questions and answers? Like the first one: something about snow on the mountain…?

NARRATOR: The old man’s eyes twinkled.

OLD MAN: Ah yes! I can easily explain what that meant… if you give me one-hundred silver pieces.

VIDOR: I beg your pardon?

OLD MAN: (making a joke) I thought you were ‘begging’ for an explanation! Not a pardon! (beat) I said, I’ll explain… if you give me one-hundred silver pieces.

NARRATOR: Vidor scrawled some words in his notebook.

VIDOR: Okay. Fine. Since I don’t have any money with me, I am writing a promissory note. A document which promises that I shall pay you one-hundred silver pieces. (beat) Here you go.

NARRATOR: Vidor tore the note from his book and handed it over. The old man carefully folded it and placed it in his pocket.

OLD MAN: Alright. So. When the queen asked me How long the snow has been on the mountain, she was talking about the snowy-white HAIR on my HEAD! And I’m so up there in years that ‘the snow has been on the mountain’ for as long as I can remember!

NARRATOR: Vidor jotted the man’s words in his notebook.

VIDOR: “Snow on the mountain… hair on head…” Right… (beat) And the next question…? “Are you getting along now with two or three”...?

OLD MAN: For that additional information, I shall require one-hundred more silver pieces!

NARRATOR: Vidor sighed…

VIDOR: (irritated SIGH)

NARRATOR: …then scribbled a second promissory note and handed it over.

OLD MAN: Thank you. When the queen asked about ‘getting along with two or three,’ she was referring to how I move around! On a good day, I can shuffle about on my own two legs. But most other days, I’m so stiff and sore I need my cane to help me out. So it’s more like three! My two legs… plus the cane!

NARRATOR: Vidor put pen back to paper.

VIDOR: “Two or three legs… stiff… sore… cane…” etcetera. Got it. (beat) And how about the next question? The queen asked you, “How far is far?” And you said “It’s definitely not as far as it used to be”! What was going on there?

OLD MAN: I’d be happy to tell you… for another hundred silver pieces!

NARRATOR: Vidor sighed again…

VIDOR: (more irritated SIGH)

NARRATOR: …then scrawled out a third promissory note and handed it over.

OLD MAN: Thank you! (beat) When the queen asked “How far is far?” and I said, “It’s definitely not as far as it used to be!”... she was inquiring about these old peepers of mine! My eyes! And how far I can see with them! In my youth, I had the eyes of a hawk: clear, sharp, precise. These days, my vision is so bad I’m lucky if I can see beyond my rocking chair!

NARRATOR: Vidor turned back to his notebook.

VIDOR: “Far… Eyesight… Vision… Bad.” Okay. (beat) So… Now all that’s left is the part that puzzled me most. When the queen asked about sending you a rooster…? And would you be able to pluck it…? You said you certainly would! And that she should send it your way any time! (beat) Why in the world would the queen send you a rooster to pluck?

OLD MAN: If you really want to know the answer to that question, how about another hundred silver coins?

NARRATOR: Vidor sighed yet AGAIN…

VIDOR: (even more irritated SIGH)

NARRATOR: …then dashed off a fourth promissory note and handed it over.

OLD MAN: Thank you! (beat) But to be perfectly honest, YOU should KNOW what this one means. …You just saw it happen!

VIDOR: I did?!??

OLD MAN: You did!! I plucked the rooster the queen sent me! Just now!

VIDOR: So… where are the feathers?

OLD MAN: The feathers?

NARRATOR: The old man smiled.

OLD MAN: They're right here!

NARRATOR: He reached a hand into his pocket and pulled out Vidor’s four promissory notes.

OLD MAN: You see, my friend: you are the rooster. The proud, strutting, cocky rooster. And I just plucked – let me count again – 100, 200, 300, four-hundred silver coins from you! Cock-a-doodle-doo!

NARRATOR: Vidor froze. He opened his mouth, then closed it again – too stunned, and too humbled, to utter a word.

Well… I’ll bet you can guess what happened after that. When the queen caught wind of what happened, she swiftly relieved Vidor of his position as chief adviser… and promptly handed the job over to her new friend, the old man.

And though his hair was white, and his legs were stiff, and his eyes weren’t what they used to be, his tremendous wit and wisdom made him the best adviser the palace had ever seen.

And there was nothing common about that!