The Polka-Dotted Pigeon | Ep. 241

Have you ever experienced envy: that feeling of wanting something that someone else has?

Maybe you envied a friend for a really cool toy they were playing with. Or you envied the other team when they won the kickball game.

It’s natural to feel “green with envy,” as the expression goes. But in today’s story, we’ll meet a character who isn’t exactly “green” with envy… he’s polka-dotted!

Our story is called “The Polka-Dotted Pigeon.” We found versions of this tale from the southern European country of Portugal.

Voices in this episode include Paul Dateh, Erika Rose and Adam Goldberg.

Grown-ups, you can check out Adam Goldberg in “The Equalizer” on CBS. You can also enjoy Adam in a bunch of other TV shows and movies, including “Entourage,” “Fargo,” “Friends,” “A Beautiful Mind,” “Saving Private Ryan,” “Dazed and Confused,” and “2 Days in Paris.”

This episode was adapted for Circle Round by Rebecca Sheir. It was edited by Sofie Kodner. Original music and sound design is by Eric Shimelonis. Our artist is Sabina Hahn.

GROWN-UPS! PRINT THIS so everyone can color while listening. We’re also keeping an album so please share your picture on Facebook and Instagram, and tag it with #CircleRoundPodcast. To access all the coloring pages for past episodes click HERE. Our resident artist is Sabina Hahn and you can learn more about her HERE.

Now it’s your turn!

It’s natural to feel envious sometimes: to believe we lack what others have.

One way to ward off envy is to remember what we do have – especially when it comes to our strengths, talents, and achievements!

Think about your own strengths, talents, and achievements. Then find some paper and make a list – or draw a picture – of three of them. If you’re feeling shy – or, yes, modest and humble – think about what a good friend or close family member would say.

Next time you start feeling green with envy, look at your list or picture and remember how much there is to celebrate about you!

Musical Spotlight: Portuguese Guitar

The pear-shaped plucked string instrument known as the Portuguese guitar (guitarra portuguesa in Portuguese) has twelve steel strings, which are strung in six courses of two.

The Portuguese guitar differs from other guitars in several ways: it’s smaller, it’s shaped like a pear, and it has a violin-like bridge which is not rigidly fixed to the soundboard. These distinctive characteristics stem from the fact that the Portuguese guitar is actually a “cittern”: a close cousin of the guitar. The cittern was popular in Europe during the Renaissance, because of its relatively inexpensive price and ease of play. A specific cittern, the English guitar, is thought to be the direct ancestor of the modern Portuguese guitar!

The Portuguese guitar is widely used in Portuguese traditional music, especially the genre known as fado. You can see and hear the Portuguese guitar in this NPR Tiny Desk Concert segment featuring Marta Pereira da Costa.

Story Transcript:

NARRATOR: On a tall rooftop in a bustling city, there was a coop of pigeons.

NARRATOR: The pigeons were owned by a man who rented the birds out… as couriers.

A courier is like a messenger. And using pigeons as couriers was pretty common back in the day. Not only were the birds speedy and reliable, but they could fly over any bumpy terrain, rough waters, or other obstacles that might get in a human messenger’s way.

Here’s how it worked. Actually, pigeons – since you’re all here… could I please borrow one of you as a volunteer?

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: Oh, me! Me! Pick me!

NARRATOR: Alright! You with the polka dots all over your feathers. Can you come over here, please?

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: Absolutely!

NARRATOR: So, back in the day, if somebody wanted to send a message by pigeon, they would take a little piece of paper, and write a message on it. Like this…  Then they would roll up the paper and stuff it into a little tube, like this… Then they would attach the tube to the leg of a pigeon, like this…

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: Hey! Careful with the claw! I just got a pedicure!

NARRATOR: Sorry! (beat) So, once the message was safely in the tube, the pigeon would then fly off and deliver it.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (anachronistically quoting the US Post Office creed) "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this courier from the swift completion of his appointed rounds!!!!”

NARRATOR: The pigeons on the rooftop had a pretty comfortable life. Their owner didn’t work them too hard, and he always fed them good food and fresh water. All in all, they were really –

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: I’m back!

NARRATOR: Already? You’ve only been gone for – (gets interrupted)

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (cockily interrupting) I know. I know!!! I am THAT good. And that’s why I’ve got dreams. Big dreams! Massive dreams! Gargantuan dreams!

NARRATOR: Let me guess. You dream of becoming the official courier… to the king?

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: How did you know?!?

NARRATOR: I’m the narrator of this story. We narrators tend to know these things.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: Well, it’s true! I dream of being the king’s official courier! And delivering all his royal messages! I’m fast, I’m nimble, I’m smart. I’d be amazing! That’s why I am going to rewrite my destiny and fly this coop!

NARRATOR: And indeed, he did.

Early one morning, the pigeons’ owner let the birds out for a little rooftop exercise. The moment the coop door swung open, the polka-dotted pigeon butted his way to the front, spread his polka-dotted wings, and made a break for it.

He flew and he flew. And as he flew, he plotted and planned.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (as he flies) Now. I can’t just barge into the King’s palace and suddenly become his courier! After all, he already has a courier – and word has it that bird is sharp. Fast. But not nearly as sharp or as fast as I am!

NARRATOR: Eventually, the polka-dotted pigeon caught sight of the royal gardens. He swooped into the branches of an oak tree, and fixed his bright round eyes on the palace.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: Okay. I’ll just sit here until the king sends his courier out to deliver a message. Then I can jump into action!

NARRATOR: At that very moment, one of the palace windows burst open… and who should come flying out but the king’s courier! The polka-dotted pigeon noticed a golden message tube strapped to the courier’s leg. But that’s not all he noticed!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: Well this must be my lucky day! The king’s courier looks an awful lot like ME! He’s polka-dotted all over! We could be twins! (beat) Gosh. This is gonna be easier than I thought…

NARRATOR: The king’s courier glided over the garden and out of sight. Meanwhile, the polka-dotted pigeon – OUR polka-dotted pigeon – stayed perched in the oak tree, and waited.

The moment the king’s courier reappeared, the polka-dotted pigeon flapped his wings and took off from the tree. He followed the courier through an open window… and into a large, lovely room with satin curtains, a crystal chandelier, and opulent furniture gilded with gold.

The courier made a beeline for a silver cage in the corner. The polka-dotted pigeon did too. When the courier caught sight of his unexpected roommate, his wide eyes grew even wider.

COURIER: Who are YOU???

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: I’ll tell you in just a sec. I gotta do something first.

NARRATOR: Without missing a beat, the polka-dotted pigeon bent down, snapped open his beak, and plucked the golden tube off the courier’s leg! Then… grasping the tube in his claws, the polka-dotted pigeon flew to the open window… dropped the tube outside… and fluttered back to the silver cage.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: Sorry about that. Had to be done. (beat) You were saying…?

COURIER: I was SAYING… who ARE you? And why did you steal my message tube?

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: Oh! That’s easy! I’m the king’s courier!

COURIER: No, I’m the king’s courier!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: No, I am! (beat) Or at least I WILL be, once I take your job!

NARRATOR: The king’s courier tilted his speckled head.

COURIER: What do you mean, take my job? I’m the fastest pigeon in all the land! The king would never replace me!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: That’s what YOU think. But mark my words, bub: your job is gonna be mine. (dramatic) And once it is, YOU’ll have no choice but to fly the coop! 

NARRATOR: Which polka-dotted pigeon do you think will come out on top?

We’ll find out, after a quick break.

[BREAK]

NARRATOR: I’m Rebecca Sheir. Welcome back to Circle Round. Today our story is called “The Polka-Dotted Pigeon.”

NARRATOR: Before the break, an ambitious, polka-dotted pigeon was determined to become the king’s courier, or messenger. So he abandoned his rooftop coop in the city and winged his way to the palace.

He was pleased to discover that the king’s real courier looked just like him! So he threw away the courier’s golden message tube, then joined his new twin in a sparkling silver cage in one of the palace’s fancy rooms.

A minute later, the door to the room suddenly burst open…

NARRATOR: …and who should come striding inside…

KING: Greetings, my fine feathered friend!

NARRATOR: …but the king!

KING: I trust you managed to deliver my message without any – (cuts himself off) (GASP) What’s this??? Why are there TWO pigeons in this cage?

COURIER: Because, Your Majesty! This imposter barged in here and is pretending to be me!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Oh no no no! THIS imposter barged into MY cage and is pretending to be ME!

NARRATOR: The king’s eyes flitted from one bird to the other.

KING: Oh dear! This is quite a predicament. Neither of you is wearing the royal message tube on your leg… and you look an awful lot alike! You SOUND an awful lot alike, too! (beat) (a-ha moment) The question IS… do you FLY an awful lot alike? Because my real courier is the fastest pigeon in all the land!

COURIER: And I am HE, Your Majesty!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) No, I am he, Your Majesty!

COURIER: No, I am!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) No, I – (gets cut off)

KING: (interrupting) Enough! In order to figure out who my real courier is, we shall have… a race. The two of you will fly all the way to the river and back. Whichever bird returns to the palace first must be the speedier one, and therefore must be my courier. (beat) Are you ready?

COURIER: Absolutely, Your Majesty!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) I was BORN ready, Your Majesty!

KING: Very well. (beat) On your mark… Get set… GO!

NARRATOR: The two pigeons flapped their wings and took off. They zipped out the window, soared over the royal gardens, then sailed across the countryside, passing a patchwork of fields and forests as they raced toward the river.

The polka-dotted pigeon flew as fast as he could. But to his chagrin, just as the winding blue river came into view, the king’s courier put on a burst of speed and pulled ahead!

And that’s when our persistent, polka-dotted protagonist had an idea.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) A-ha!

NARRATOR: Instead of continuing his path toward the river, he jerked his speckled wings to the side…

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) Here we go!

NARRATOR: …and he turned around!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon whizzed all the way back to the palace, where he came to a smooth, graceful landing inside the king’s silver cage.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (accidentally using real voice) I’m back, Your Majesty! (realizing his error) I mean – (imitating Courier again) I’m back, Your Majesty!

KING: So you are! You are the first pigeon to return. Therefore you must be my real courier!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) That I am, Your Majesty! Your real courier! And I am so very honored to –

COURIER: (flying into the room) Hold it right there!!!

NARRATOR: The satin curtains rustled as the king’s real courier came swooping through the window and into the cage. Though the king didn’t KNOW it was his real courier, of course.

COURIER: This flying phony cheated, Your Majesty! He didn’t even reach the river! He turned around miles before we reached it! He’s a feathered fraud! A beaked bluffer! A polka-dotted poser! A – (gets cut off)

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (interrupting) (imitating Courier’s voice) Hey look, bub! Much as I admire your ingenious alliteration, I’m going to stop you right there. If anyone is a phony, or a fraud, or a bluffer, or – what was the other word you used?

COURIER: A “poser”?

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Right. If anyone is any of those things, it’s YOU!

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon fluttered out of the cage and onto the king’s shoulder.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) I got here first, bub. Therefore, I won this race. Therefore, I must be the king’s true courier!

NARRATOR: The king lifted a hand and patted the polka-dotted pigeon’s head.

KING: I must say you’re right, my friend! You DID get back first. And only my real courier could make the journey that swiftly. (beat) So, you get to stay. And as for YOU…

NARRATOR: He shot a withering glance at the pigeon in the cage.

KING: I have absolutely no idea WHO you are. But you must GO. NOW. Leave this palace at once!

NARRATOR: The real courier stared at the king. Then he blinked his round eyes, spread his speckled wings, and flew off through the window.

NARRATOR: Once he was out of sight, the king gave the polka-dotted pigeon another pat on the head.

KING: Well, my fine feathered friend. Thank goodness THAT is over! Can you imagine? Some random bird flying in and masquerading as my courier? It’s pathetic, if you ask me.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice by accident; forgetting not to be offended) “Pathetic”?? (recovering) (imitating Courier’s voice) Oh yes! SOOO pathetic. I mean, how low can you go, right?

KING: Exactly. (beat) Well? It’s time for me to go down to dinner. I’ll be sure the princess brings you your meal.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) (confused) The princess, Your Majesty…?

KING: Yes! Can you believe my daughter still insists on feeding you all your meals each day? She’s been enamored with you since she was a little girl!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) (playing along) Oh! Right! Yes! Since she was a little girl!

KING: You two have become thick as thieves since then! If you’ll pardon the expression. Goodness knows neither of you would ever be a REAL thief. (beat) In any case, she should be up soon. Bon appetit, my fine feathered friend!

NARRATOR: The king placed the pigeon back in the cage, then marched out the door. Within minutes, a young woman came walking in. On her head she wore a magnificent crown glittering with jewels. In her hand she held a silver platter covered with a lid.

PRINCESS: Hi there, Speckles! How ARE you this evening?

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon froze. Speckles? Who on earth was Speckles?

Then, all at once he realized: HE was!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Uh, hello, Your Highness! And I’m great! Never been better!

PRINCESS: “Your Highness”...?!? Why so formal, Speckles? You’ve always called me by my first name!

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon froze again.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) (uncertain) Your first name…?

PRINCESS: Okay, so a SHORTENED version of my first name. Everyone else calls me Albertina. But you nicknamed me “Bertie” all those years ago, and it stuck!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Right!

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon nodded his head.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Bertie! Of course! I guess that makes us two little “birdies”! Right? I’m a “birdie,” you’re a “Bertie”?? Haha!

NARRATOR: The princess frowned.

PRINCESS: Did you just crack a JOKE, Speckles? You NEVER crack jokes! You’re the most serious bird ever!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Am I?

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon’s pulse quickened.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) I mean – Yes! I am! I am SOOOO serious. GRAVELY serious. I was just, uh… trying to lighten the mood after all that nonsense with that imposter today! Surely you heard about the “flying phony” who pretended to be me? It’s downright pathetic!

PRINCESS: I did hear about it. But I have to admit: I feel kind of bad for him. Can you imagine being so jealous that you’d actually try to impersonate someone?

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) No way! Never! A bird like me is NEVER jealous. After all, look how amazing my life is! I’ve got it made! I’m sitting pretty! I’d say I’m in hog heaven, but I’m a BIRD!

PRINCESS: Another joke…???? And such proud talk!! You’re usually so modest and humble, Speckles!

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon’s pulse was racing by now. If he wasn’t careful with this princess, his goose would be cooked!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Uhhhh… You’re right, Bertie! I am SO modest and humble. Ya know, maybe I’ve just been cooped up in this cage for too long. Do you mind letting me out so I can stretch my wings a little?

PRINCESS: Speckles!!! You know you aren’t permitted to leave your cage during dinner time. Those are the rules. And you LOVE following rules! (beat) You sure you’re feeling okay, Speckles? You’re not acting like yourself!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) I’m feeling great! I’m the exact bird I’ve always been. I’m your buddy…! Your pal…! Ya know? Good old… FRECKLES!!!

PRINCESS: You mean – Speckles…?!

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon thought he might faint.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Isn’t that what I said? That’s totally what I said! You probably misheard. All those jewels on your crown must be affecting your hearing.

NARRATOR: The princess didn’t answer. She just tilted her crowned head and gave the polka-dotted pigeon a deep, searching look. Her gaze drifted from head to tail, wing to wing. Then… at long last… she spoke.

PRINCESS: You know, SPECKLES. I can think of ONE WAY for you to show that you truly are yourself. You can deliver a message!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Deliver a message???

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon felt a wave of relief.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) Now THAT I can do! As you know, that feathered fraud disposed of my little golden message tube today. But strap a new one on, stuff a message inside, and I am at your service!

PRINCESS: Wonderful!

NARRATOR: The princess found one of the king’s gold message tubes and tied it to the polka-dotted pigeon’s leg. Then she scrawled something on a slip of paper, and stuffed it inside.

PRINCESS: Okay, Speckles. Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to fly to the pine forest. Find the tallest tree. Then wait at the bottom of the tree until this message is picked up.

NARRATOR: The polka-dotted pigeon quivered with excitement. He remembered flying over the pine forest during today’s race! This job would be a piece of cake.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) I’ll be on my way then! Your wish is my command!

NARRATOR: And with that, he flapped his wings and zoomed out the window. As he coasted through the air, he felt lighter than air. Not only had he achieved his dream of becoming the king’s courier, he had pulled a fast one on the princess!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) Like I say: I am fast AND sharp!

NARRATOR: When he came to the pine forest, he quickly found the tallest tree and dove down to its base.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) Okay! The princess said I should wait here until this message is picked up. So… I’ll wait!

NARRATOR: And… he did.

He waited…

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) (whistling or singing nonsense syllables to pass the time)

NARRATOR: …and waited…

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) (still whistling or singing nonsense syllables to pass the time)

NARRATOR: …and waited!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) (whistling or singing nonsense syllables to pass the time)

NARRATOR: But no one came to pick up the message. Eventually, the polka-dotted pigeon felt his eyelids grow heavy. And he drifted off to sleep.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) (SNORING)

NARRATOR: When he woke the next morning, he resumed his waiting.

He waited all day long.

And the day after that.

And the day after that.

And for all we know… he’s waiting still!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) What?!?? Hang on a second! That’s not how this story ends, does it? Why am I still under the tree? How come no one has picked up this message?

NARRATOR: Maybe because there IS no message.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) Of course there’s a message! I saw the princess write it herself! It’s inside this little gold tube! (beat) Take it out and see for yourself.

NARRATOR: Alright.  A-ha.

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) What?!?? What does it say???

NARRATOR: Nothing! It’s a bunch of scribbles! (beat) Look!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) It IS a bunch of scribbles! I mean, I’m a pigeon, so I can’t exactly read, but I know scribbles when I see scribbles and these most definitely are scribbles. (beat) Why would the princess do this to me?

NARRATOR: Well… the part of the story that we haven’t yet told takes place back at the palace, after you flew off to deliver the princess’s so-called message. Can we rewind to that part, please?

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (imitating Courier’s voice) I’ll be on my way, then! Your wish is my command!

NARRATOR: Now. From the moment the princess exchanged words with the polka-dotted pigeon, she knew something… was off. Suspecting he was an imposter, she decided she would put him to the test, and asked him to deliver a message.

Little did he know that the moment he said yes, he had already FAILED the test.

And do you know WHY?

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) Are you asking ME? Or whoever’s out there listening to this story right now?

NARRATOR: Both!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (real voice) I… have no idea.

NARRATOR: Well… the reason why is this. You see, the king’s real courier would never carry a message from the princess. He would never carry a message from anyone other than the king! It was forbidden! Against the rules!

POLKA-DOTTED PIGEON: (realizing) Ugh. And we all know how much Speckles loves following the rules!

NARRATOR: That’s right!

And speaking of Speckles… once the princess discovered the polka-dotted pigeon’s scheme, she went searching for her favorite feathered friend. She tracked Speckles down in the royal garden, where he was moping beneath an olive tree. She brought him to the king, who immediately reinstated the bird as his official courier: a position that Speckles modestly and humbly holds to this very day.

As for the polka-dotted pigeon, he finally made his way out of the forest and back to the city, where he re-joined his fellow pigeons in the coop on the rooftop – with his polka-dotted feathers ruffled, and his tail between his legs.